I realized we fought when we are having a trip together. It's a local trip, we speak the language and all. But we didn't find our peace. I got reminded of the trip where Max and I planned virtually. Amanda, a person I met online, interacted just because we liked the same group / guy. We went to Bangkok Thailand for a 3-night stay and the crazy thing is that I met her for the first time in the airport before going to Bangkok together. I was at peace with her. Just like when we were hiking a mountain. I went with many people. All were good. There was no one accuessed me of doing something wrong. This time I went for a trip with my husband. I was being asked for money. I was attacked. There was no protection, no sense of security.
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I am back to this blog again after having arguments with my husband. I would honestly not call it an argument because all the things he did today was wrong and instead he blamed on me. I pointed out all of the mistakes and he tried to find something so I could be in the wrong sides too. Before going to this page I read my last post I am currently wondering and re-thinking about what I said. "I accept his strengths and weaknesses and I hope I can support him to reach his full pontetial"? He's been showing attitudes that he had never shown when we were getting to know each other. I remember telling my host family that I wanted to protect him from all the evil in this world. It turns out, after several months of marriage, he is the one who hurts me the most. Profession only attaches to people when they are in the work place. Once they get home, off the work mode, they become their true self. I am not heard, not understood, not safe. Where is the as...